When I saw my OB on Wednesday, I still had not dropped, therefore not dilated at all. I wasn't surprised to hear that news, considering I didn't really feel any different. The shocker was when I was handed consent forms to sign for induction. Casually, my doc asked, "do you want to have the baby Tuesday or Wednesday next week? Are there any OBs that you don't want? I'm going to see who is scheduled and I'll be right back and you can decide." I knew that induction was a possibility but I really didn't think I'd have to make a decision right then and there.
Really Tuesday or Wednesday did not matter at all, but I said I would call Warren to help me make the decision. I couldn't even figure out how to use my phone to call Warren. Eventually I got it and he said it didn't matter, so pick Tuesday. Then she proceeded with the foley catheter consent and the pitocin drip consent. I was reading it over and didn't even know what I was reading. I had read the risks over and over on my own time and suddenly I was putting my signature on a dotted line. I asked her if I still get asked if I'm ok with this when the actual time comes and she assured me I can back out at any time.
I left the OB clinic trying to keep it together until I got to the parking lot and lost it. I called my mom crying because this is not what I wanted. All along I've been telling myself to have no expectations regarding labour and delivery so I wouldn't be disappointed, but clearly I have had the perfect birth plan in my head all along. It would go something like this... Warren and I are watching TV and then I have to go to the bathroom and feel a contraction... and think, "is that really a contraction?" Then, I would wait and observe for another. Soon enough, I would figure out that I'm going into early labour at home. Get out the heat pack and the physio ball and stay at home until the contractions are five minutes apart for one hour like the doctor said.
We would go to the hospital, and I would yoga breathe through each contraction. Nurses will offer me drugs, and maybe offer the epidural and I would politely decline because I'm doing this. I'm making it through the labour. Warren is here and he's helping me. It would get tougher and tougher and between Warren and my mom, we would have this baby.
This all came crashing down when I put my induced labour situation in front of my eyes. So now I would go to the hospital the day before induction to get this catheter inside me to stretch my cervix, and then the next day when the hospital has a bed available, I would go there and get the P drip started and therefore contractions get going. I cried many times on Wednesday telling my friends this story. I know it could be a lot worse. And many of my friends have been induced and everything works out fine. It's just not what I wanted, and it was a good lesson to learn that I have to drop my expectations and just do everything I can to have a healthy baby.
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