Sunday, April 7, 2013

You don't have to love pregnancy, and that's ok.

Since I'm a little behind on blogging, there is a lot to talk about and I'll try my best to remember the details.  I've had some help from friends and Warren to be ok with not liking this whole pregnancy thing.  So I'll share what I've been feeling.

First of all, I'm ready for more activity.  I've decided that I lack the structure I had pre-pregnancy and really there's no excuse. Most people have the attitude, "Who cares; you're pregnant.  Love being lazy and eating what you want." What I want is to feel fit and active, not lazy and full. I've been following on Pinterest, youtube, facebook and Instagram different ladies who are so inspirational during pregnancy.  I've been having a tough time with the whole, "loss of control" and "body changes" and I've decided there's more I can do.  I ALWAYS feel great after a workout, so why can't get I get this feeling 5-7x's a week?
In my earlier blogs I was saying I was still active, but it's definitely been decreased lately.  I have not been doing much cardio for about a month now, but still seeing Joe for weight training.  So, I am making a pledge to go to the gym every weekday this week for cardio.  30min minimum on any machine.  I'm not going to set goals for intensity or pace; the goal is to just be there.
I also started Prenatal Yoga this week and I'm going to love it. The class only has 6 ladies and it's at Breathe Pilates in Walkerville.  It's for 6 weeks, and although the yoga so far is not as challenging as I've done, I need this more than anything to help with my quest for balance with change in my life.

I'm not getting all of the "beautiful" things that go with pregnancy.  My backne (back acne) is out of control and the medication is really not helping.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to go through painful laser hair removal again when I'm done having kids.  I'm hoping after pregnancy I'll return to my hair-free days once this baby's out, but I have no idea what's to come.  My boobs are huge for me (just found out I'm a D cup, no big deal) and I do not like them one bit.  It's funny how I've always said it would be great to move up a few cups, but I am looking forward to my mosquito bite-size boobs to return.  It won't be for a long time; I am fully aware of this.

My nails are not strong, my hair is not thicker, and I definitely do not have the "glow."  My acne is worse on my face than it's ever been and I'm pretty sure I have more wrinkles, despite my facial routine and skin care regimen.  I miss having a tan, so I started using some self tanner this week.  I can feel my legs rub together with every step, and I'm officially out of breath after two flights of stairs.  I'm full after half a dinner plate like I just ate Christmas dinner and two helpings of dessert. I'm almost 23 weeks and therefore in for another 4 months of discomfort.

Ok, there are some positives.  Some women love the feeling of their belly.  Now, it's definitely exciting to feel the baby having a dance party in there, but when your belly hangs over your pants when you sit down..... you know what I'm talking about.  Many people are kind and tell you daily that you look great, but it's hard to believe it when you feel so uncomfortable.  Hmmmm, another positive..... no period?

I was struggling with this guilt of not loving pregnancy, because I truly feel blessed to be able to carry a baby.  I was able to get pregnant 6 months post competition and have had really no issues with this pregnancy.  I'm going through the normal symptoms.  But this is me, and I do not have to like it.

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